Breastfeeding Does What?!?!

As mentioned in the previous post, I attended a breastfeeding class. I thought this class was going to be about training Shiela on how to breastfeed and what to do. Apparently they do that in the 2nd class, but this first class felt similar to what I imagine the Communist do to brainwash people and teach them their propaganda. This entire class was basically about why breastfeeding is so awesome and why formula is so bad and wrong. And just like on Corner Gas when the townspeople spit every time they say the name of the nearby town they hate, the teacher got everyone to spit when someone said the word 'formula'. Sure am glad I'm not the janitor in that place!

Now I'm all for breastfeeding, but I think they were pushing it a little too far. They handed out their list of 101 Reasons to Breastfeed. I started to glance through it and suddenly burst out laughing when reading some of them. I think they were stretching it pretty thin to come up with a top 101. Here are some of the sketchy ones:

1) Breastfeeding means fewer cow-induced global greenhouse gasses
2) Cow's milk is designed for baby cows (although we all drink it!)
3) Breastfeeding helps reduce cruelty to farm animals (no Mr. Farmer, please don't massage my breasts any more...please!!!)
4) Suckling optimizes hand-to-eye coordination (last time I looked the baby used their mouth to get the milk, not their hand)
5) Breastfed babies have sweeter smelling diapers (that's good because I'm sure I'll be smelling each diaper to take in the wonderful sweet aroma of crap caused by the breastmilk)
6) Breastfeeding is what breasts were designed for (hmm..let's poll 100 men and see what they think!)

So as you can see, the list maybe should have been shortened to like 50 or so,as in my eyes going to 101 made it lose a lot of credibility. The 2nd class is this week where they actually teach us how to breastfeed. I wonder if there's a class on how to mix baby formula? (spit)