Am I A Stalker?

This past weekend I was in Winnipeg at the Canadian Sports Awards. Our company was there promoting our Hbc Run for Canada and we also had another cool booth there where you could get your picture inside a real bobsled or snowboard or on an Olympic podium. It was pretty cool.

On Friday night I was going to attend the gala where they were giving away a number of the awards for the year. I was helping set up our booth prior to this event and suddenly realized I only had 45 minutes to get a taxi, go back to my hotel, change, get another taxi back to the awards all before 7:00pm. I quickly phoned a taxi service and then proceeded to wait outside for a LONG time. Finally a taxi pulled up and as I was jumping in I told him I had called for a taxi and was glad he came. He then kicked me out of the taxi!! He said that since I called for a taxi I would have to wait as another taxi was coming to get me (and yes, it was the same taxi company). Dumbfounded, I watched the taxi drive away and continued to stand outside in the rain for another 10 minutes before a taxi finally arrived.

As I quickly changed at my hotel I phoned my taxi guy's cell phone that he gave me so I wouldn't have to wait another 30 minutes. I was now 5 minutes late for the awards show and so the taxi pulled right up to the door. In the doorway I saw three people eagerly looking out as if waiting for someone. I knew that I wasn't that important and started to wonder if maybe they were locking the doors so no one else could get in. I was paying the taxi driver with my VISA (taxis hate it when you pay with VISA) when suddenly all three guys come out the door and surround our taxi. I thought they were going to get mad at us for something, but as I looked over my shoulder I saw another van there and these guys were all helping out this VIP. Our taxi was clearly blocking the main route to the door and so this VIP had to walk around through the rain to get in the door...it ended up being Cindy Klassen, 5 time Olympic medallist in the last Olympics.

I rushed inside to my seat and realized that Cindy had arrived just in time to present an award. I watched all the awards and then after in the lobby, once again I ran into Cindy Klassen. Knowing that she is a speed skater and a boy I coach in soccer is also into speed skating, I asked her for an autograph for him. She was really nice and made it out to him. I then decided to make my way to the reception where everyone else was.

It was still raining outside so I asked this guy in a van where to go and he said he'd give me a ride since he was driving the shuttle. I jumped in and he went inside to see if anyone else was left. And who did he come back out with...Cindy Klassen and her parents. Suddenly our van was now upgraded to a VIP van and we were driven right to the main doors of the University. During this trip I apologized to Cindy for blocking her vehicle prior to the event with my taxi and she just laughed. We chatted a bit about coaching and Winnipeg before we arrived at the place. As we entered the building it was absolutely dead. It felt like one of those movies where they secretly drop off a VIP at a remote location and then something bad happens to them. Luckily this was Winnipeg and we just laughed as we wandered around trying to find the reception room.

We finally found it after following the noise and smell of food and we parted ways for the final time...or so I thought. Later that night I was chatting with my boss and she saw Cindy Klassen again...but now she wanted a picture. I no longer wanted to talk to Cindy because I had already run into her numerous times and figured that she was going to think I was stalking her. But finally I figured, who cares, what's one more encounter. So we went up to her for a final picture as I apologized for stalking her. And then that was it. As we thanked her for the pictures she said see you later, and I said "by the way things have happened I'm sure we will."

So it was a great trip. Here's a picture of me, Cindy Klassen and my boss. The picture at the top is of myself with Duff Gibson - Canadian Male Athlete of the Year - was an Olympic Gold medallist in Skeleton - Yes, he let me wear his gold medal.

Only 2 more days

I can't believe it is only 2 more sleeps away...one of the greatest days of the year is quickly approaching. No, it's not Easter...No, it's not spring cleaning...it's my birthday!!! Yes, this post is a shameless plug for my birthday.

This year my birthday is going to be....well...mediocre. Unfortunately I have to go to Winnipeg on my birthday and am there until Sunday afternoon. That means no birthday poker game or other birthday fun things on the 22nd. I also work at home alone so there is no one in the office to "celebrate" with.

However, I am more than willing to accept gifts before or after my actual birthday. I never really know what I want for my birthday. People ask me that and I just can't think of things. But this year, there is something that I would really like.

Here it is...the Poker Genie. This thing looks great. It would allow me to hold poker tournaments where I can set the timer for blind levels and program in the blind levels. Is it absolutely necessary? No. Do I want it? Yes.

If you have ever played in a poker tournament it's nice to know what the blind levels are and how much time is left in each level. It also just adds to the professionalism and fun of a poker tournament.

I also want to build a poker table. My wife bought me a great table top poker table a few years ago and I love it and use it all the time. What I want now is to make a table that seats 10 people and is oval shaped. I think this would be perfect for a games room!

Anyways, the whole point of this post was really just to show you the poker genie. If you want to buy it (for me or yourself) go here to purchase it (but don't feel pressured).

Hbc Run For Canada 2007

Yep, this is my job. Playing around and watching videos on You Tube. Well, not really, but this is one video I can watch at work without getting into trouble!

This ad will be airing on CTV between now and July 1st. If you haven't signed up for this great event yet, you better do so pretty quick because the early bird deadline is fast approaching.

Fam Bam

The company I work for is putting on these events across Canada. Unfortunately they aren't coming to my city, but this video is from when they were in Calgary on March 4th.
The cool part was this group was having a little trouble with their routine. Being the hard core breakdancer I flew to Toronto for a few of their rehearsal sessions. We practiced for about 6 hours a day and I taught them everything I know (ok, that only took about 30 seconds as I showed them the snake move)
To learn some of these moves, go the Family Channel website and they teach you how to do them.

Open Tryouts

I feel this is just like that movie Invincible or something like that. You know the one where the Philadelphia Eagles hold open tryouts and that one guy actually makes the team? If you haven't seen it don't bother now because I just gave it all away (just kidding, there's an extra 5 minutes after that yet). Well, it's happening here in Saskatoon.

The Saskatoon Accelerators are holding open tryouts for their semi-pro league. That's right, you could be a professional soccer player (or at least as close as you can come to that in Canada outside the national team). For all those avid soccer players out there wanting to live the dream, here are the details:

Friday March 16 6:30-8:00pm
Saturday March 17 7:00 - 9:00pm
Sunday March 18 11:00 - 1:00pm (selected players only)
Thursday March 22 5:00 - 7:00pm (selected players only)

The final players will be selected to play against Winnipeg on March 23.

On the SDSA website the head coach specifically says "This is for serious, fit, and committed soccer players, if you feel you do not fall into this category I advise you not to attend. There will be fitness testing during the try-out sessions." I'd like to go out and watch just to see if there are any people who think they are fit and try out...just like that big beer drinking guy in the movie Invincible (now you really don't need to see it because I just gave away the only funny part).

So, anyone out there planning on "living the dream" and trying out? If you make it, don't forget us little guys!

German prank

Near Death Experience

I've always heard of near death experiences. You know the ones where people say they are in a dark tunnel and are moving towards the light at the end. Or they see their life flash before their eyes just before they think they'll die from a car accident or something (but then don't). I can now join this group. Maybe not in quite the same way, but I definately had a near death experience. I went to a Group Power session.

For those who don't know what Group Power is it's simple. It is a session where a bunch of people get together who want to be tortured. Sure they could all go out and torture themselves on an individual basis, but for some reason these group torture sessions are extremely popular, and amazingly enough, the majority of the people who want to be tortured in a group are women!

I woke up extremely early in the morning (5:30am) which I think is part of the torture process. I slipped on some clothes and drove down to the torture building called Mawson Health and Fitness. I ran inside and put on the regular torture attire of shorts and a t-shirt. It was just before 6:00am when I walked into the torture chamber. There were already lots of other people there and not much room left. With this being my first torture session I decided to find some place near the back where people couldn't hear me scream.

Most people already had their weight bar, weights and step bench in place (these are the torture devices they use in this session). I wasn't sure what to do exactly but I saw a few spots where the weight bar and weights were already laid out. I quickly walked over to one of them and started to take off some of the weights as it was way too much for my first time. As I was adjusting the weights I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see an old man with huge biceps and a scowl on his face. He informed me that I was in his spot and those were his weights. I didn't want to get beat up by him on my first day so I backed off to go find another spot. I made my way to a spot in the middle of the crowd and started to adjust those weights. A few seconds later I was pushed on my shoulder and knocked to the ground. I looked up to see the face of a women glaring at me. I guess those were her weights. I stood up and looked around. I finally figured out that each person has to get their own weights and weight bar, etc. I knew I should have taken the Torture 101 class.

I quickly grabbed my torture gear and set up my stuff in the only place left...the front row directly in front of the head torturer! As she began the session I was still setting up my gear when she asked if there were any first timers. I raised my hand and she gave me this wicked smile. "Welcome," she said, "what's your name?" "Sheldon," I replied. "Well, Sheldon, prepare to hurt a little!" As the music started I was already sweating...not from the torture but from fear!

The first 15 minutes were excruciating. She had us doing squats, lunges, dead lifts (millions of them!) and above the head military style bench pressing. At the first break I realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. As I dropped my weight bar to the floor I started to make my way to the water fountain outside. I put one foot forward and when I lifted my next one the first one gave out. I crashed to the floor and almost took out one of the other women standing there. My legs were like jello already and I couldn't walk. I crawled out the door and made my to the fountain. The cold, wonderful yet tasteless water gave me some more energy and I pulled myself back up to my feet. Using the walls for support I made my way back into the torture chamber. I could hear the snickers as I stumbled by but I didn't care...I was being tortured and I didn't care what I looked like!

I made my way back to my spot and casually asked the lady behind me how long this session was. One hour she told me. It was at that precise moment that I felt my heart stop and fear took over my entire body. I had barely survived the first 15 minutes and could no longer walk. I could not imagine how I was going to last another 45 minutes. I looked up at the head torturer for some sympathy, but all I saw were glowing red eyes and a menacing smile as she said "Here we go!"

The next 45 minutes are a blur. My body was so tired that it no longer mattered how much they tortured me. We did more squats, dead lifts, bench press, over the head lifts, tricep curls, bicep curls, pushups, sit ups, abdominal exercises and then each one about 10 times again! The only thing I can vaguely remember is the head torturer yelling "Come on Sheldon! Don't let these women show you up! Push yourself!" With about 10 minutes left I literally felt that I was going to throw up. I kept glancing around wondering where I would throw up and if I would be the first person to actually throw up during a torture session. I tried not to think about it but it was all I could do to keep going and not hurl.

The final thing we did were some abdominal exercises on the mats. We were all lying on our backs and were suppose to do them, but just lying there on my back felt like heaven. I laid there for a few seconds before I felt a hard slap on my stomach. The wind was knocked out of me and the head torturer was standing over top. "Don't just lie there Sheldon, suck in your stomach to tighten those abs!" Once again I could hear the snickers around me.

When the final music stopped it was announced that the torture session was over. I put away my torture devices so others could be tortured later that day. I stumbled into the locker room and I somehow managed to change and make my way outside. As I glanced back towards the torture chamber and thought through the horrific experience I had just been through I amazingly said to myself "I can't wait to try GroupRide!"

Still here

In the spirit of Monty Python, "I'm not dead yet!" I told myself I was going to stop writing posts apologizing for not blogging for so long, but why not break yet another resolution! Usually when I don't blog it's because I'm too busy or I don't have anything to say. Truthfully, I've had quite a bit of time when I could have blogged and I have lots to say...I just haven't felt like blogging. Part of it is that I want to write stories but I really want to have a separate website for my stories and not put them all on here. But we'll see, maybe I'll put up the story about how I was trampled on the subway in Toronto.

Anyways, I'm back!

Another Great Dilbert

I don't plan on posting lots of these, but this one is just too funny! It reminded me of the days when I worked for QuickStructures.

(click the picture to see a larger version of it)

Garage Sales

For some reason I can't get garage sales out of my mind. Spring is coming (although you wouldn't think so by looking outside) and that will bring the season of garage sales. But for some reason garage sales are bothering me.

Why do people have garage sales? I think it is mainly for two reasons: 1) to get rid of old stuff and 2) to get more money. Every year you see hundreds of garage sales in my city. Everyone is selling off their old used items and pocketing the cash. The problem I see is why do we feel the need to get more money? Why do we go through all the work of selling off old items, labelling them from $0.25 to $5.00 and then spending an entire weekend selling it off. Then we pocket the extra cash and are so happy because now we can go buy more stuff. It really bugs me when I see garage sales in the richer neighborhoods! Really, do those people need that little extra money!!

I'm sure there are people out there who really need the money they will earn from a garage sale. But in my life I don't seem to know very many needy people. The people I know are pretty well off with good jobs. I really don't think many of them need the small amount of cash they will earn from a garage sale. Oh, sure it would be nice to have a little extra so we could go buy something. But for some reason my heart is being tugged to do something different with all that stuff we would sell at a garage sale...give it away instead.

Recently it was brought to my attention that there are families out there with a lot less than what I have. I'm not talking about the homeless people that are begging or anything. I'm talking about non abusive, loving, single (and two) parent families that struggle to make ends meet. They cannot even afford to buy new clothes for their kids. I'm sure they would love to have a little extra money to spend on necessities for their family.

So what should we do about this? I think rather than have garage sales why not instead try to find someone who can use the items you are selling and give it away instead. Nothing feels better than to give something away knowing that you are helping someone out. I've been on the receiving end of many things: tennis racket, knife, golf clubs, clothes, etc. and it is great to have things given to you. Need some ideas? Selling dishes and other kitchen items: give them to a new refugee family that just moved here and has nothing. Selling old furniture: donate it to a small church youth group or to a family that doesn't have any. Lots of old baby clothes: ask around at churches, etc to find an expecting or new mother who doesn't have a lot and give them to her. Old board games you never play: give them to some young kids. If you feel you don't know anybody you can always donate items to Community Living or the Salvation Army.

So what am I going to do about this? I hate to disappoint everyone but I'm far from perfect. Am I never going to sell anything again? Probably not. But I think I need to do two things. 1) Give away all the items that my wife and I were going to sell after our move in December 2) Get to know more needy people. #1 is easy. #2 is where I will struggle. I like living a safe little life where everyone is doing well, good jobs, decent money, nice houses. But I feel the need to start to get to know some families that are not as well off. I think being able to help a particular family and building a relationship is far better than dropping off all my old clothes and items at the Salvation Army (although that's a great start).

What do you think? Am I off my rocker? Are you having a garage sale this year? I would love to have some discussion on this in the comments.

I Love Dilbert

I never used to get Dilbert. I'd read the comic but I just never found it very funny. Then I started to work at Cover-All. Now, don't get me wrong, Cover-All wasn't a bad place and the people there weren't all like the people in the cartoon. But once I had worked in an office setting with many different departments (Marketing, Sales, Engineering, etc.) I suddenly found myself laughing so hard I would start to cry sometimes.

For all those out there who do "get" Dilbert I've posted a couple recent ones from the 2007 Dilbert desk calendar I received for Christmas.

Alumni Soccer Tournament 2007

Another Alumni Soccer Tournament has come and gone. I was looking forward to playing in this tournament again. It's fun to play with people you only see once a year, you are all out of shape and you are playing against a bunch of kids who just came out of high school and have tons of energy. And, once again, I was planning on winning this year.

I was totally prepared this year. I had brought my old set of jerseys so our team would all look alike. I had put a number of pump up songs on my IPOD shuffle to listen to before the game while warming up. I didn't drink Coke between games and instead opted for Powerade, granola bars and fruit. Basically, with all that, I figured the other team should just hand us the victory because we were bound to win.

Not quite. We played Bethany in our first game and got trounced. They were flying off the walls and we were getting worked over. We managed to escape that game with a 4-0 loss. Then an hour later we had to play the younger Alumni team. This was a much slower paced game and although we played well we just couldn't score. We ended up losing that one 4-1.

So although we lost our 2 round robin games lucky for us everyone made the playoffs! After a hearty brunch of pancakes, sausages, toast, and cereal (thanks Glenda for the bowl!) I was ready to play again. This time our team came out flying. We changed up our formation a bit and it worked well We dominated the other Alumni team and won the playoff game 5-1. That put us into the final where we had to play Bethany again.

The final started off well and we scored first giving us the 1-0 lead, but Bethany bounced back and at half time it was 1-1. The second half was going ok, but 2 quick goals from Bethany and we were down 3-1. We came back to 3-2 but a little scrambly goal by them gave them anothehr 2 goal lead and it was 4-2 with about 6 minutes left. We then went on the offensive and pushed for a goal. It also started to get dirty. It had been an extremely physical game and not all the Bethany players understand how to play safe when you are playing around cement walls. I got checked into the stage one game by a guy twice my height and one of our players also got hit into a cement wall at the final by that same guy. We then started to fight back and some of the hits that were given by both teams were more geared for hockey then soccer. In our push for a goal we actually ended up giving up 2 more and lost with a final score of 6-2.

It was once again a lot of fun and I'm already looking forward to next year when we can once again try to win the glorious Bethany Cup!

Snow Removal Incompetance

I've never really thought too deeply about snow shovelling. In my mind it's pretty simple. When it snows you go outside, shovel your walk and get the snow out of the way. I usually shovel my walk (or at least I did before I paid condo fees and someone else now does it) and put the snow off to the side so that it wasn't blocking the sidewalk or my car. If I was to hire a kid to shovel my walk, I usually assume that mens he will also clear the snow out of the way. If he were to shovel my walk and then pile it all up in one big pile at the end of my driveway I wouldn't pay him because the job wasn't done. He needs to actually move the snow out of the way. Apparently not all snow removal companies have that same philosophy.

After the big blizzard last week we had a lot of snow. The next day we had one bobcat show up and start shovelling a little bit of the road right in front of the garbage cans...that's it. No sidewalks, no roadways, just the area in front of the garbage cans. Whatever, I didn't really care and figured they'd be coming back later. The problem was how incompetant that bobcat driver was. Although he cleared the snow away from the garbage bins, he piled all the snow up right behind my neighbors car. So now my neighbors car was blocked in with a 10ft high snow drift behind her car.

(Above) My car being covered in snow

from the "snow removal" people

Late that night I heard a loud machine outside and I peeked my head out. I saw a huge front end loader trying to maneouver around our parking lot and dig out my neighbors car (who by the way is a single lady and I'm guessing around 5-6 months pregnant). I talked to my neighbor later on and she told me she walked down the street and found this city front end loader and asked him to come and dig her out!

So luckily she could now get out and go to work the next day. But it wasn't over. I was working in my office with my window facing the parking lot out front. As the day wore on I would glance outside and watch 3-4 bobcats driving around and shovelling out our entire townhouse complex. I never paid much attention to it and couldn't see directly below into my own parking stall. After work that day my wife came home and asked if I had looked outside at our neighbors parking spot. I told her I had seen it and she had been shovelled out last night. My wife said I should look at the latest update. I opened my door and looked outside. There, in my neighbors parking spot, was not a car...instead there was a 15ft high pile of snow! Those bobcats had dumped all their snow from the entire lot right into her parking spot!

What is wrong with these snow removal companies. Do they not have any brains at all? This is not the first time they have shovelled snow out of our townhouse unit. They know where the parking spots are and yet they still piled all the snow right in her spot. Now she has to park in the visitors parking spot (which has no plug in by the way and it's been around -25 degrees out all week).

And it's not just our townhouse unit. I drove to Staples on Saturday and what did I see. The snow removal company had piled all the snow from the entire parking lot (about 30 ft high) right in the parking spots closest to the store. Those are prime parking spots! They should be dumping that snow in the far back corner of the lot where nobody wants to park! And to top things off, some of the places where they piled the snow were handicap parking spots! Now there are no designated spots for handicap people to park.

All I know is that if I ever run a snow removal company I would be sure to shovel it and remove it properly, or at least put it somewhere where it is not affecting anyone. It's common sense you snow removal people!

If anyone does needs snow removal services, a high quality and efficient company is called FastCat Services. He will do an excellent job without making these mistakes.

Coca Cola Adventure

The day started off like any other normal day. My alarm went off, I lay in bed listening to the radio and then about an hour later I finally get out of bed and shower. The only difference was the howling wind outside. The news on the radio also said it was bad weather outside but I thought nothing of it. We live in Saskatchewan and nothing stops us! I was going to work no matter what!

After a quick breakfast I decided it was time to get to work. I opened my front door and looked out into what was the worst Saskatoon blizzard I have ever seen. The snow was about 1 ft high against the front door and my car had snow all around it. I shuddered, closed the door and was so thankful I worked from home!

The day progressed as normal and I occassionally glanced outside and watched as my entire front steps disappeared under a big snowbank. We no longer had a sidewalk as the snow was up to your waist. My wife phoned around 4:00pm to say she might not get home. I told her to just drive slow. She asked me if I had looked outside or knew what was happening in Saskatoon. I hung up the phone and quickly turned on the TV for a news break. There it was...the entire city of Saskatoon shut down. Schools were closed, businesses were shutting down early and everyone at once was trying to get home.

Now that was the city's first mistake. They shut down the schools, the buses weren't running and the schools decided that no one could walk home and that parents had to pick up their kids. So suddenly at 1:00pm EVERYONE at once leaves their work to go get their kids. Visibility is absolutely zero and the cars are gridlocked across the entire downtown. The police shut down almost every main road that people normally use and so the only way to get home was through the downtown. A regular 10 min commute was taking people 3-4 hours!

And I continued to sit in my home office and work. And then it happened. I wanted a Coke. I ran downstairs and looked in the pantry...no Coke. I looked in the fridge...no Coke. I looked at my antique Coke collection and picked up a bottle filled with the sweet nectar....NO!! I quickly put it down and ran back upstairs. I couldn't drink away my Coke collection. There was only one thing to do...venture out in the blizzard.

I put on my jacket, toque, gloves and headed outside with my shovel. I went out the back door and trudged my way through waist deep snow drifts to get to the front door. And I began to shovel, and shovel, and shovel. I was only wearing thin gloves and I suddenly could no longer feel my hands. The snow was blowing in my face and I barely made it back inside. If I was going to get a Coke it was going to be even more work than first anticipated. After thawing out my hands I ventured back outside with my shovel. I had to clear the parking spot so my wife could park when she got home and also clear a path to our front door.

I once again braved the outdoors and this time with thcker gloves. I was just finishing up the shovelling and had managed to clear a very small path to our doorway when my back gave out. I hobbled back inside thinking my Coke dream was over. But I refused to give up. I bundled up again with every piece of clothing I had and just as I stepped outside my wife came home. I thought my adventure might be stopped by some common sense, but no! Instead she decided to join me and our quest to Extra Foods began.

The wind was howling, the roads were slick and the Extra Foods seemed a long ways off. We walked in the middle of the road as the sidewalks were non-existant. As we trudged along I continually kept wiping out again and again as the roads were so icy. As my eyes began to water, my cheeks blown red by the wind and my nose as red as Rudolph's I suddenly saw the glorious lights through the blowing snow...no it wasn't heaven, it was Extra Foods. As we neared the front doors we were so happy to be there we ran to them just to get inside. As we approached the AUTOMATIC doors at full speed we realized too late that they weren't opening. We both crashed into the glass knocking ourselves to the ground. As I lay on my back and looked up I questioned my own sanity, but when I glanced through the glass window of the store there I saw it...a 2L of Coke just waiting to be bought. I staggered to my feet and we had to manually push open the doors like we were breaking into a sealed vault. Once inside I grabbed my Coke and made for the exit.

After once again prying open the doors to get out we headed home, but this time against the wind. Conversation was non-existant as we trudged on home, heads down and hoping that no car would hit us. As we rounded the corner exhaustion was setting in. My wife was up ahead when I hit some ice and slipped to the ground. She never saw me and as I lay there face down in the snow I realized my time had come. People had always told me that Coke would kill me and it was finally coming true. I was slowly drifting into unconsciousness when a thought suddenly struck me. If I die, I can't drink any more Coke. With renewed vigor I pulled my face out of the snow, staggered to my feet and forced one foot in front of the other as the journey continued. We rounded the final corner and our house could be seen. As the door was unlocked, I stepped inside and collapsed on the floor.

My wife, being the EMT, knew just what to do. She ran to the kitchen, filled a cup with ice and poured me a glass of Coke. She knelt down and touched the glass of Coke to my lips. The wonderful sweet nectar flowed down my throat and I sprang back to life. I held the wonderful cup holding the magic life giving potion and settled onto the couch for the remainder of the evening. As I slowly drifted off to a peaceful sleep, the last words going through my head were "It was worth it!"

Napoleon Dynamite

So I'm a little behind the times, but last night I watched Napoleon Dynamite for the first time. I had heard so much about it. Nobody said anything bad about it, but everyone admitted it was a funny, pointless movie. I wasn't sure I totally believed them. How could a movie have absolutely no point, have no big actors, no real plot and yet still make a lot of money. What studio would let that movie be produced!?!

I sat down on Friday night and watched it. My wife had been called in to work so I was home alone. I put in Napoleon Dynamite to see for myself what this movie was about.

My answer: It was stupid. I sat there and watched the whole thing and finally it was over. Most movies about highschool have a plot to them where a nerdy girl turns beautiful, or a guy goes after a girl and gets her, etc. But this movie was basically reality. It showed Napoleon in a real life high school situation.

Was it funny? Well, it was funny in its own way that I had never seen before. It wasn't slapstick comedy which was good because I can't stand slapstick comedy movies. I like comedies that are funny, but not stupid funny. Some example of stupid funny movies are Scary Movie 4, Hot Shots Part Deux, etc. But this movie was funny because it was basically the real life story of a nerd in highschool and how he was treated. I just can't believe that someone would be quite that nerdy. I never saw anyone quite like that in my highschool, but then again our school didn't have mirrors!

Should you see this movie? That's irrelevant because I'm so far behind the times it's like giving a review on Back to the Future...you've all seen it already! But if you haven't, why not? Rent it, laugh if you can laugh at how stupid his life is, and use it as an excuse to eat a lot of popcorn and Coke!

Did you like the movie? Anybody willing to admit they dance like Napoleon?

I Want to be a Better Soccer Coach

For the last many years I've been coaching soccer. Started right after Bethany in 1998 and haven't really stopped since. I've coached a lot of different teams at a lot of different age groups...and I LOVE it! Often I only feel like a mediocre coach and I've always wanted to get better and improve my coaching ability.

Then a couple years ago I decided I wanted to pursue the next level of coaching - my Provincial B License. I started to work with some other coaches and we did practice sessions with players. The problem was I never fully dedicated myself to making it a priority and never went to take the exam as I was never ready.

Well, that has all changed. I forgot to mention it in my list of New Year's Resolutions, but it really isn't a resolution...it's more of a goal. By the end of this year I want to have my Provincial B License for soccer.

Now it's great to have a goal, but this time I also have a plan to back it up. I, along with 3 other coaches, are in a mentorship program with the Eastside Soccer Technical Director. He is going to work with us from now until October and prepare us for the Provincial B License. And he's not making it easy! I am going to have to perform 40 training sessions (above and beyond the 2 training sessions I do each week with my current team) before October 1st. They will be with all sorts of age groups and all sorts of skill levels and genders. The Technical Director will be at each one and will basically treat each one as a test, just like they will at the Provincial B License exam. He is also making us write a written exam to prepare us too!

Now I could go the easy route and just attend the Provincial B License in October on my own with the knowledge I currently have. But these 40 training sessions will definately help prepare me so that it is second nature to me. That way I will lower the nervousness I'll feel on exam day and can be confident in my abilities.

Tonight we had our first meeting and now I need to plan out when I want to do all my sessions for the next 3 months. So stay tuned as I keep you updated on my progress!

The OC is Finished

NEWS FLASH!

The OC has been cancelled by FOX and the last episode will air February 22. I'm going to log out and go cry now.

New Years Resolutions

I am not a fan of New Year's Resolutions. I feel it is a great way to set yourself up for disappointment when you don't fulfill them. So in the past if I did make any resolutions, I just had them in my head and never shared them. That way if they didn't get fulfilled no one was the wiser.

But this year I'm singing a different tune. I've decided to make some resolutions and actually stick to them. Here are some of them:

• Get back in shape - I'll do this by running and also lifting weights downstairs
• Have a weekly date night - I want to spend more time with my wife
• Blog more often - I've been having trouble with Google lately, but this will happen
• Work less - The month before Christmas I worked way too much. Not again.
• Write my book - This will be my book of stories
• Play more poker - Resolutions don't have to be negative!
• Attempt to do one of my many ideas I come up with

Well, there you have it. So far I'm doing pretty good on them. I have some big plans for 2007 and I'm looking forward to getting started.

A New Beginning

The new year brings new beginnings. It has been just over a year since I started this blog and I've decided that changes need to be made. I'm trying to accomplish too much with one avenue. Therefore, as of today I will no longer be writing Fact or Fiction stories on this site.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! Don't go yet! Hear me out!

As I've said, I'm trying to do too much with one avenue. The original focus of this blog was to write stories and post about my life. I really want to do more with the stories part of the blog and in order to bring it to the next level I feel it needs it's own website. So, the stories aren't disappearing forever...I'm just working on setting up a separate site for just my stories.

So stay tuned for the big announcement when I launch my story page! As for the rest of my life, this is the place to be and I'll continue to update this blog on a regular basis with all the fun filled happenings in my life!

"I'm Back!"

Pack, Pack, Pack

My life is only consisting of 3 things right now...Work, Soccer and Packing. We have some big programs coming up for work and I'm spening alot of time working on it. Things aren't happening quite as fast as I want, but when you are hiring people you are going to have to work with for the next 8 months you want to be sure you hire the right people.

I've actually been writing my cheerleader post, but for some reason Blogger won't let me put up pictures. I seem to have that trouble all the time and it's terrible. I'd have a lot more pictures on this blog but half the time it won't let me put up a picture so I just end up posting without one. So, once I get the pictures to work I'll post the cheerleader write-up. But I'll warn you now, the pictures aren't great as it was dark in there and so a lot of the pictures are hard to see.

We move in one week and there is still quite a bit to do. Shiela has been packing lots and when I can get away from work I help out too. We should be all set once next Saturday comes around. If you are interested in helping to carry some boxes or do some fun cleaning give us a shout...we'll find a spot for you.

Grey Cup Hangover

I'm finally back home again after having an amazing time at the Grey Cup parties. Unfortunatelyl I had so much fun that I completely drained myself and now I am sick. I've got a cold, runny nose and I somehow bit my tongue while sleeping and it hurts all the time now. My boss (who happened to be in Winnipeg for the Grey Cup) said it was Grey Cup hangover (even though I wasn't drinking) when I emailed him to tell him I was calling in sick today so I could get better. And that's a good description...the Grey Cup festivities and excitement is so amazing that you literally are hung over afterward.

I'll post more on the Grey Cup later, but for now I'll just leave you with a picture of some of our Brand Ambassadors we had for our Frank's event at the Argos party on Friday afternoon/evening. Anyone know who the guy is?

Partying at the Grey Cup

I'm in Winnipeg now for the Grey Cup Party. Notice I didn't say the Grey Cup game. That's on purpose for two reasons:
1) I don't have tickets to the game
2) I'm realizing that the game iteself is just a small part of the Grey Cup.

I flew in a day early (Friday morning) because we ended up doing a Frank's RedHot event on Friday night for the Argonauts party. Now unfortunately it wasn't just a bunch of Argonaut players, but rather for fans. But not just Argonaut fans, there were fans there from everywhere...and nobody cared what team you cheered for. i now realize that it is irrelevant which team is actually playing in the game...it's more about the atmosphere and the party.

The party on Friday night was awesome. There were three different sets of cheerleaders there...Toronto's (obviously), Winnipeg's, and finally....SASKATCHEWAN'S!! It was cool to see them. The coolest part was that two of the Rider cheerleaders worked for me in Regina for a Frank's event and so i chatted with them for a bit and we talked about the Grey Cup, etc. They were having a lot of fun. Each group of cheerleaders put on a big and long dance routine and they were literally amazing. I feel bad talking about it because people are going to think I'm just obsessed with cheerleaders and good looking people, but that's not it. The routines these girls did were amazing. I fogot that my camera can take video so all I have are some pictures. I was trying to get a picture of the girls doing their cartwheels and backflips, etc. and trust me, this place wasn't very big so they didn't have a lot of room. I'm going to devote an entire post just to the cheerleaders where i analyze the three groups, tell you who was the best and I'll throw in some pictures. Not just because they are cheerleaders, but the routines they did were great and it almost made me think that maybe cheerleaders are athletes? (what do you think?)

i also got my picture taken with a few celebrities. First off, Kerri Joseph was there and i ended up getting a picture with him. i also got a picture of him with my four Frank's girls so maybe I'll post that one since that may be more interesting. Then the next person you probably all could guess if you put two and two together as to where I was. That's right, Pinball Clemens. i shook his hand and briefly talked to him when he arrived, but then he was swarmed. It was impossible to get a picture so i went outside and waited for him to leave. Sure enough, he came out and although his "handlers" were trying to get him inside the vehicle to leave, he was willing to get a picture taken still and was extremely classy. Of course the stranger who took the picture cut off part of my head, but since Pinball is shorter i got all of him! I'll post those pictures when I get back home on Tuesday night.

Well, it's off to go party some more. i need to buy a Rider shirt for the party on Sunday so i fit in. Wearing business casual at these events makes you look like an idiot. Then it's off to the parade after a visit to Riderville and possibly the Lions Den!

It's Basically Official

Shiela and I are now property owners. We have purchased a townhouse, the mortgage has been approved (they just need to verify some documents) and we are excited!! Our original possession date was January 8, 2007 as the previous owners needed time to find a house. However, they found a house over the long weekend and asked if we could move the possession date up to December 8th!! So we are going to be in our new place in less than a month. The people we are buying from are really great too. They were very helpful as we made the offer on the house and they are just very nice people.

We really feel that God gave us this place. When this house was listed on Saskhouses I phoned her immediately to go and look at it. I phoned so fast she didn't even know it had been listed yet! We went and looked at it at 8:00pm that night and were the first ones there. The lady told me she had so many phone calls about the place that she pretty much had to turn her cell phone off at work. They let us look around and figured we weren't going to buy it since we were just the first people to look at it. We had spent some time looking at other houses and townhouses and we knew exactly what we wanted. We loved it and went upstairs to chat with them. I asked them what their bottom price was and then offered $10,000 below that! Just kidding...I offered them what their bottom price was as it was right about what we wanted to pay and said ew'd buy it if we could sign the papers right away (because I knew if we didn't get a deal done right away we wouldn't get the house). They were shocked that they had sold it so quickly and were very happy to sell to us for the price they wanted.

Not having a clue what we were doing, we made the offer and signed the deal...but we had left our cheque book at home and so we couldn't make a deposit. So we went home to get the cheque book and then came back. When we got back a realtor was there and the owners told us later that he had told them his clients would pay above the asking price for their place. They told him sorry, it was already sold.

I had wanted to view it on Thursday night because on Saskhouses they were advertising an Open House for Sunday. Shiela and I had made plans to go to Calgary for the weekend and we knew this place wouldn't last through the weekend. As it turned out, if we had waited one more hour before buying it we would never have got it as the realtor would have offered more and we couldn't have gone that high. When the realtor had said his clients would pay more for the place, the owners son thought they should have a bidding war on it, but the mom was adamant against that and was just really happy they had sold it so quickly. We found out later that during the open house there was one man who really wanted to buy it. He was telling the owners he would write them a cheque right now if they would sell it to him. They told him no, it was already sold. These people weren't even worried that other people were offering more than us...they really liked us and wanted to sell their place to us. They had already phoned their neighbors to tell them they had sold to a really nice couple!

So Shiela and I are very thankful for this place and praise God for his work in this process and how he worked everything out. Now we just need to try and furnish it somehow LOL!!

Go here to see some photos of it: http://www.saskhouses.com/listing.php?id=6409

My Video Biography

It's pretty rare when you find your own video biography on the internet. But I saw it this weekend. Once I sue them I should be collecting royalties for life! No more work! Let me know what you think.

**Update:
Does anyone know what ROTFLOL means without googling it? Here's a hint: If you aren't ROTFLOL after watching that video I'd be surprised!

Did That Really Happen

I think Shiela and I just bought a townhouse...am I dreaming? Somebody better pinch me (ok don't unless you want my fist in your face (inside joke)). Guess we'll wait on that financing...stay tuned.

A Helping Hand

Last night our LIFE group (that's just another name for a small group for all those who may attend other churches with your own lingo) went to the Canadian Food for the Hungry International. The plan was to help them fold linen that will be sent overseas to hospitals in other countries. Judy, the lady from CFHI, started off by giving us some background information on the organization and what they do. Basically, they send containers (like the really big ones you see on barges and railcars) full of medical supplies, medical equipment, beds, machines, linens (like the ones we folded), etc. to these other countries to help the doctors there provide care for needy people. It's an amazing organization. Judy was a great lady! She has basically devoted herself to this organization and she does amazing work there with adminstration tasks, tracking all the shipments, arranging for medical supplies and pickups all across the province, etc.

With Christmas approaching, CFHI has produced a Gift Catalogue. This catalogue is really cool. It allows you to buy gifs for people in other countries. Not regular gifts like Ipods, cell phones or jewellery, but useful gifts that will greatly enrich the lives of these people. Some gift ideas are a pig, fruit trees, a wheelbarrow, etc. Now that may sound weird, but here's two exerpts from the gift catalogue:

The Gift of a Pig
"Pigs are a favourite animal because, in return for disposing of kitchen garbage as food, they produce manure for the farm, and new piglets each year which can be sold for income or used as a source of meat. A pig can greatly add productivity to a family's agricultural and income-generating activities"

The Gift of a Wheelbarrow
"In hilly rural Rwanda, a wheelbarrow can be the deciding factor in the success of agricultural production. Farmers often live as far as 15km from their fields, and since they travel by foot, carrying a fertilizer or other products in large quantities is next to impossible. Consequently, their farms and their incomes suffer."

I would highly recommend going to their website and browsing through the catalogue to find a gift you can buy this Christmas.

If your LIFE group (or other small group, group of friends, co-workers, enemies or even yourself) want to do something to help out other people, give CFHI a call and Judy will gladly accept any help you are willing to offer. And for you guys out there that like machines, they could really use some help with fixing up some old medical machines (one of our guys in the group calibrated a few weigh scales, I helped him with one) so there is something for everyone.

Another One Day Trip

Looks like I'm taking off in about 1 hour to go to Regina just for the day. Unfortunately I don't get to fly and have to drive there and back. I honestly can't believe I'm even going. The reason for the trip is I have to pick up the ballots from the promotions we did while we were there. That's it. Drive to Regina, pick up the ballots and drive back home. Silly if you ask me. Oh well, at least I'm getting paid for it.

Long Day in Winnipeg

The trip to Winnipeg was great with only a few little mishaps. Apparently I don't always function so well really early in the morning. With a 7:00am flight I was up at 4:30am and at the airport by 6:00am. I've flown WestJet before and made my way to the gate to await our departure. As I watched the news I saw people get up to board an Air Canada flight to Toronto. Then I was reading the Star Phoenix and glanced up to see my WestJet pilot and flight attendants at the desk getting things ready for our flight. Then a bit later I started to look around and noticed that there weren't a lot of people near me. I figured that was odd since I highly doubted I was the only one getting on my plane. I glanced at my watch and saw it was 6:45am. I got up and walked to the WestJet desk and looked at the flight info...CALGARY!!! Oh Oh! I was at the wrong gate. Luckily Saskatoon airport is pretty small and after walking about 20 steps I was at the right gate and everyone was already boarding. That would have been a bad start to the day if I had missed the flight.

Once in Winnipeg I had a lot of time to kill since my meeting wasn't until 2:00pm. I sat around the airport trying to get my internet to work and then took a taxi to a modelling agency we sometimes hire from. The head manager wasn't in, but I chatted with a girl who has worked a lot of our Frank's promos for us in Winnipeg. I learned a bit about the modelling industry, etc. Then it was off to the University of Manitoba to chat with their Employment Services to post our job for upcoming promotions. After that I took a taxi to Polo Park and had some Chinese for lunch while I prepared for my meeting.

Then I had a brilliant yet stupid idea. I figured I'd walk to the Tijuana Yacht Club from Polo Park since it wasn't far and I had done it many times before. As I wandered outside and began to walk I noticed it was rather cold out. Then I noticed that the snow was actually blowing right in my face and there was a lot of wind. Then my body told me I wasn't wearing a toque and my head was getting cold. Then my feet told me that my shoes weren't as water proof as I thought and my socks and feet were now soaked as I walked through the slushly snow on the ground. By this time I was half way there and calling a taxi was pointless. I arrived at the hotel next to the venue looking like a drowned rat and went to the bathroom to "freshen up".

At 2:00pm I noticed that I was the only one there for the meeting. I talked to the front desk and they called the manager. I think they woke him up because he told me the meeting wasn't until 3:00pm. So I went to a restaurant in the hotel until he came down about 2:30pm. We chatted for another hour before the other 2 people showed up. The meeting went great until I got separated from the group.

I had left my laptop and jacket in another part of the bar and so when everyone left I told them I'd catch up. I grabbed my jacket and bag and followed through the door they had gone. However, the next door I tried was locked. So I went to this other one...locked. I went to this other one...locked. I went back to the bar door...locked. Hmmm....I was literally locked into this little holding area since I didnt' have a key or know the pin to unlock any doors. The only door I could get out was onto the patio where I could see the blowing snow. If I went out that door and couldn't get off the patio as the gate might be locked, I would be stuck outside. So I knocked (pounded) on a few doors to no avail. Then I heard someone calling my name....they had come back for me. I ran back to the bar door but they couldn't hear or see me and they left again. I was still trapped. Finally I figured it was do or die. I went onto the patio, quickly grabbed a chair and propped open the door. Then I rushed to the end of the patio slipping and sliding, grabbed the gate and found that it was open. So I rushed back to door, closed it, ran off the patio and back through the front doors of the hotel again...and there they all were wondering where I had gone!

Our Frank's rep offered to give me and our other client from Toronto a ride. We dropped her off first which was at the Radisson downtown. The only thing was that it took us over an hour to get there!! She didn't seem concerned with the slow traffic since she is from Toronto, but the Frank's rep and I couldn't believe it and are not used to that. It was a good thing my flight didn't leave until 8:00pm because I only go to the airport at around 6:45pm or so.

The flight home was uneventful and I walked into the airport and into the loving arms of my wife. What a day!!!

Quick Trip

Just heading out to Winnipeg for the day. Flight leaves at 7:00am. Meet with the client to plan the big Grey Cup party. Then fly back home at 8:00pm tonight. Looks like I'll also be going to Winnipeg for the Grey Cup weekend too...probably not to the game itself but I'll be there for the event.

10 Steps to Guarantee Failure

For those who know me you know that I plan to be rich...one day. Today I found this list via John Campea's blog. I think I need to re-evaluate how I look at that goal and maybe change a few things in order to accomplish it.

Here are the ten steps to guarantee failure:

1. Make your goals vague
When setting your goals, use adjectives such as “more” and “some.” Goals like “I want to make more money” or “I want to lose some weight” virtually guarantee your progress will be minimal. Be as wishy-washy as possible. And while you’re at it, you might want to set a goal of getting a job doing something.


2. Make your goals difficult to visualize
A good way to do this is to keep changing your mind on the details of your goal. If you are thinking a goal such as: “I want to own a red, blue or yellow Corvette or just a Mustang”, then you are definately on the right track. If you kept that goal planted firmly in your mind, you are virtually guaranteed you’ll never go above a used Hyundai.

3. Think and speak negatively about your goals
Try using words like “I can’t” and “It’s too hard”. Goals such as “I can’t get a promotion, It’s too hard to take on more responsibility” will certainly keep you at the bottom of the food chain. If you can put it in writing or work up enough courage to tell your boss directly, he or she will almost definately avoid promoting you from that point on. Who knows, you might get lucky and get fired! It’s worth a shot anyway.

4. Avoid planning incremental steps
It’s likely that if you have made it this far you are already following this rule already! Take a goal - even a specific goal like “I will double my income by this time next year”. Then simply leave it as-is. Don’t write down any tasks or steps you’ll need to complete in order to achieve it. Just consider the goal a wish and nothing more. Creating a step-by-step plan will only confuse matters because it’s all too easy to take action on simple steps. Action in the direction of your goal would lead to success and you definately don’t want that.

5. Don’t Do - Talk
Because talk is easier than action, this step one of the easiest steps for you to take. Try to fill up as much of your day with socializing as possible. Talk about all the things you will do someday or that you were gonna do. Just make sure you don’t mess it up by doing anything productive. Action is your enemy. Embrace your excuses!

6. Wait until you are motivated
Let’s face it, it’s much too difficult to go jogging or open a mutual fund account when you simply don’t feel like it. So just wait. Waiting gives you the peace of mind that someday, you might do something. But not yet, the timing isn’t right and you aren’t motivated anyway.

7. Don’t set a date
Setting a date when you expect to achieve your goal is too much pressure. Who needs it? Definately not you if you want to avoid progress. You know that goals with dates get done, so by not setting a date you avoid making a commitment. You can keep putting off stuff. Even though people may ask “When are you ever going to get around to reaching your target?”, you have a wild card. By not having a date, you can put off actually doing anything.

8. List why it’s impossible
Now we are getting into the mental game of failing. This is quite possibly your greatest weapon against achievement because it destroys hope and optimism. So as soon as possible, set aside some time to create a long list of how impossible your goal really is. No matter what your target is, I am sure you can come up with plenty of reasons why it’s impossible. Be creative, make up some if you have to (i.e. “It’s impossible for me to lose weight because I was kidnapped by space aliens and injected with a fat-serum.”) Bonus: You get extra points if you can come up with an excuse using UFOs, ghosts or the Bermuda Triangle.

9. Don’t research your goal
You’re the kind of guy or gal who likes to “wing it.” Reading about how others have succeeded achieving a goal similar to you is just a waste of time. Instead of standing on their shoulders, they should be standing on yours! Sure, they might have overcome unbelievable odds to get from homelessness to CEO or 450lbs to a 180lbs - but they were probably just “lucky” anyway. Don’t read anything that promises to help you get to your destination.

10. Think of anything except your goal
Here’s another mental strategy that will put you on the fast track to failure. Think of anything except for your goal. Why visualize success when there’s plenty of clouds, teddy bears, and TV reruns to think about? And while you’re at it, take action on these flights of fancy instead of your goal. I know what you’re thinking…you’re thinking “I wonder if there are any green teddy bears out there?” Now you’re getting it! Focusing on your goal for long periods of time can be difficult and challenging. Thinking about unicorns is easy and fun. Take the easy path, that’s the only way you can fail in record time.

I'm About to Get Dumber

There are a lot of people out there who used to be smart and then for some reason decided they didn't want to be anymore and gave up their smarts to become dumber. Maybe not completely dumb, but if someone would give you a book filled with wisdom and then you just decided to give that book away, I would think you would be dumber as you no longer had all that wisdom.

Well, I don't have a book like that (except the Bible which I'm not giving away) but I am going to join the ranks of the dumber come Oct 26th. Yep, I am having my wisdom teeth out.

It's been a few years coming and I booked this appointment over a year ago...I think it was last September. The thing was that when I booked it they told me it was going to cost a lot of money as I have to have them surgically removed. Probably between $800 - $1000. They asked me if I had insurance to cover it and I said no, because I had just lost my job at that time. But I figured a year is a long ways away and I'm sure I would find a way to pay for it by then. And, sure enough, 1 year later and I still don't have any insurance or benefits. Oh well, who needs an extra $800 - $1000. Once I'm rich that will be chump change. Just kidding (not on the being rich part, that part will be true), I sort of have insurance. Well, I don't, but my lovely wife does and her benefits will cover the whole thing 100%. So that is awesome.

I'm sure I'll be dying to write a story about it after since they are knocking me out completely and then I'm not allowed to drive for at least 24 hours. So stay tuned for a story later in the week (or weekend). Until then, I need to spend the next few days writing out all the wisdom I have so I don't completely lose it when they take out my wisdom teeth!!

Ancient Healing

Yesterday I encountered the strangest thing I have ever experienced.

On the recommendation of my mother in law I made an appointment with a travelling medicine man who was coming through the my village for a couple of days. A few days ago I sent up my smoke signal to let them know I wanted an appointment and in return my village received a snowstorm. I took that as a confirmation.

I made my way to the Travel Inn, a small, never-heard-of hotel on the outskirts of my village where the medicine man would be performing his ritual healings. I wasn't so sure about these guys, but I figured nothing else was working to heal my ITP so why not try this.

As I waited outside his healing chambers I chatted with another local from my village I had never met. He told me how the doctors weren't able to heal his back or figure out what was wrong. He had been to the chiropractors and had x-rays and nothing had worked. He then went to this medicine man and after doing his ritual chanting and feeling he told the guy his hip was out of place. They put it back into place and this guy said he never felt better. I was feeling reassured.

The medicine man must have been having some trouble with finding enough goats blood and chicken claws for his healing rituals because I had to wait over an hour before I finally got in to see him. The medicine man's apprentice had talked to me outside the healing chambers and explained to me how the medicine man was going to look at my eyes, my ears, my tongue, my teeth and then touch the different organs in my body. At the end he would then tell me what was wrong and how much goats blood to drink to fix it. When he showed me the diagram of the body and where he was going to be touching me, I couldn't help but notice the guy was naked. Oh well, I figured, he's a doctor.

I was finally called into the healing chambers and I stood before the medicine man. He said "Let's begin the testing" and so I stripped off my clothes just like in the diagram outside. As I stood there naked I suddenly realized there was also a medicine woman in the room. The medicine man quickly informed me that with his healing powers I didn't need to take off my clothes. Oh, I thought, that would have been useful information TWO MINUTES AGO!!!

As I then stood there with my clothes and jacket on he walked up to me and shined a flashlight on my right ear. "You're going deaf in that ear". WHAT I thought...how can you tell that by looking at it. He then took a picture and showed me a curve in my ear which means I'm going deaf. He then touched me and did a little ritual counting and told me I had 80% hearing in my right ear and 93% hearing in my left ear. Then he had me open my mouth and look at my tongue. "Your tongue is twisted which means your hip is out." He then had me lift up my tongue. "Your lungs are swollen." He snapped another picture and showed me two bumps under my tongue that meant I had swollen lungs. I just stood there stunned at all the information he was throwing at me and I could barely understand it.

Then he moved on to the touching. He said we have energy in our bodies and by touching the spot where an organ is he can tell how well it's working. This part went so fast I have no idea what happend. He touched me all over my chest area (apparently where the different organs are) and did some ritual chanting I didn't understand. All the while yelling out numbers to the medicine woman who was writing it down.

Then it was over. I didn't even know if I had been analyzed yet...I still had my jacket on. In the hospital it seems like no one can analyze anything unless you are wearing a hospital gown with your butt showing! He then looked at me and said "What's wrong with your blood? You have a bad infection in your blood." Now, I hadn't told this guy anything ahead of time. He didn't know me from his neighbours goat and had not been told of my condition. I told him I had ITP and explained it. He then nodded and said that made sense. He said he thought I was going to think he was crazy when he told me about the blood infection because it was so bad, but now it all makes sense. (I could have thought of a hundred other ways I thought he was crazy too!) I couldn't believe it.

As the healing session ended he told me what medicine I would need to take to get better. He suggested taking two leaves from a rare plant in the mountains of BC, crushing them and then mixing them in a drink. Or he said I could just buy the pre-made pills with the leaves already in them as the plant is often tough to find in the mountains. He called the special herbs Red Clover and Natures Way. He said to take those and I would feel a whole lot better by the time he comes again. He even said he will be able to tell how often I took the herbs when he tests me next time. I then paid him in his preferred method of a neutered goat and 2 declawed 3 month old chickens and my bill was settled.

I tried to ask him a few more questions but suddenly he waved his cloak around himself and in a puff of smoke I was outside the hotel and standing by my car. As I drove away back to my village I decided to chat with the Specialist about these herbs and see what he thought.

What do you think? Should I try it?

Free Rider Tickets

If you want to go to the Saskatchewan Roughrider game tonight I have two free tickets to give you. I'd love to go, but I really don't want to sit outside in below zero temperatures and potentially get pneumonia again.

Just post a comment and they are yours. Game time is 7:30pm. Winner must pick up tickets from me as delivery is not included.

Purchase #9

I've already bought a number of gifts for Christmas...except that they are all the same thing! That's right, I just bought my 9th Tickle Me Elmo TMX 10th Anniversary Edition. This thing is amazing! You can "tickle" Elmo on his toe, stomach or chin and he starts laughing. But then, he actually falls down and gets back up again all while laughing! Then he begs for you to tickle him again. So you do and he goes through the same routine but adds in even more to his little show. Then he begs you to stop but when you tickle him a 3rd time he goes crazy! He goes through the same routine but on the last one he falls onto his side, then rolls onto his stomach and hits his hand on the floor numberous times, all while laughing hysterically! Then he manages to stand himself back up again!

It's going to be the hottest toy at Christmas time so I decided to buy up a bunch of them and sell them on Ebay. I phoned all over Saskatoon and they were sold out everywhere. Finally, after 2 weeks of phoning stores I found 8 of them at Wal-Mart in Confed. I bought all 8. I just picked up my 9th tonight at Toys 'R Us where I was on their waiting list for the last few weeks. But don't worry, I'm not going to change just because I'm filthy rich after this Christmas!!!

Recovering

It looks like we may have caught the pneumonia before it really had a chance to get me. Monday night I was hurting a lot and Tuesday was the same. By Wednesday I wasn't in near as much pain which I guess is what paying a lot of money for drugs will do for ya! However, on Thursday I was feeling better and was all set to go the next day to a wedding in Manitoba...just one more event in Regina for work. But things didn't quite go as I planned. As I drove to Regina I was slowly deterioting all the way down there. My head started to hurt and I was starting to feel congested. Then while at the venue I felt like I pulled another muscle in my lower left back and it hurt to walk again. I then decided that the best move was probably not to spend 14 hours in a car driving to and from a wedding. I figured I wouldn't get much rest and would probably feel worse when I got back and then be sick for the next week. So I phoned Shiela and told her we weren't going.

I woke up Friday morning and was feeling better. I technically had the day off so I was on holidays. The owner of the company I work for often gives the employees the Friday off before a long weekend so we get a 4 day weekend...pretty sweet deal! I say it was technically my day off because I was actually still working. I had to hire two girls to work Thanksgiving Monday for me for an event. I had been having trouble finding people because (surprise surprise!) everyone was with their family on Thanksgiving. I ended up hiring two models from a local modelling agency instead of our regular people.

So I then went out and ran a few errands for work and bought myself a little treat for lunch...chicken strips and Coke. I cooked up the strips and sat down around 2:00pm for lunch. I also added Frank's hot sauce to about 4 out of the six and then I also used plum sauce. I LOVE plum sauce with chicken strips! As I was eating I found it interesting that my stomach was getting sick quite quickly. I couldn't figure out why I was getting sick so I just kept eating because even though I was getting sick it still tasted so good (Shiela made fun of me all night for doing that). By the time I finished off the chicken strips I was sick and decided to lay down for a nap. I turned on a movie, saw about 10 min and then fell asleep on the couch. I only woke up at 5:40pm shen a friend phoned to ask about plans for that night.

I then got up off the couch and realized that I was still sick. I wasn't sure how I was going to go out that night but I had to as it was a triple date type of thing that also included a blind date for two of them. If I ditched out it would be bad. It then hit me pretty suddenly and I spent the next few minutes over the toilet hurling up all the chicken strips I had for lunch. I felt remarkably better after and then Shiela came home and I told her the story. Then I suddenly spent the next few minutes again hurling up the rest of my lunch...and trust me, I threw up a lot! (Shiela then looked at the expiry date on the plum sauce and all she could see was that it expired in /06 and couldn't see the month...however I am pretty sure it was expired and that's what made me sick)

So now I was feeling quite a bit better and ended up going out that night. I was far from my usual self but it was a fun night. So to end off this long story, I often feel pretty good when I am sitting at home, but as soon as I venture outside for a while I deteriate quickly. So I'm spending some quality time sleeping away my Thanksgiving holiday with the odd insert of entertainment (like going to watch someone play Huskie v-ball tonight). Hopefully I'll be ok to last out the game before retiring once again to my bed. I'm planning on being healthy again by Tuesday!!

I'm Sick and Hurting

Last night I was going to miss small group so I could go to a soccer coaches meeting for the upcoming season. Around 5:00pm I started to feel a lot of pain in my left side. It hurt to breathe and I had pain shooting all around from my shoulder down to my waist. It hurt to even walk.

I figured it would go away and I would move on. I had been having some pain in my right side the past few days ever since I went for my nuclear medicine test to see if have an auxillary spleen (the test was negative and I don't). I thought I had just pulled a muscle or something because when I took the test I had to lie down on this machine and put both hands above my head. I kept bringing them down because it got sore, so they eventually tied my hands up so I couldn't move them. When they cut me loose I could barely move my arms and that was when the pain started on my right hand side. The pain I was now experiencing in my left side was similar to that in my right. Surprisingly enough, when the pain in my left started all the pain left my right side completely.

So I ended up going to City Hospital emergency. My soccer meeting was at City Park Collegiate and so I figured if this was nothing I could zip over to my meeting after. Turned out it was something.

They conducted a number of tests on me including an ECG. This is where they strap all these wires to you, then send electricity through it and watch your heart jump. After a few bolts of electricity I had enough and ripped off the cords and started yelling at people and threating to touch them with the wires. The doctors all scrambled out of the way because for some reason no one likes to be electrocuted...go figure!

Then they did some other tests including chest x-rays, blood tests (one in each arm) and an ultrasound to see if I had any fluids causing problems in me. Oh yeah, can't forget the interrogation I also had to endure. An intern with family medicine came in and said she wanted to ask me a few questions. She turned off the main light and then turned on the bright lamp right above my head. I was instantly blinded and asked her to turn it off, but she said I didn't have a choice. She then asked me all kinds of questions...what's your medical history, what drugs do you take, where does it hurt, does this hurt (as she pokes me in pinky toes with a needle), whose your daddy and for pete's sake, TELL US THE LAUNCH CODES!!!

Once the interrogation and tests were done they all came in to give me the final verdict. I was developing pneumonia and the reason it hurt to breathe was because my lungs were rubbing up against my rib cage (I think that's what they said). And then, to top things off, they decided to destroy me financially and handed me a prescription for some very expensive antibiotics.

So here I am at home. I'm suppose to sleep lots (no problem there) and get rest. The problem is I have a few events yet to do and don't have staff for them all yet. So I will need to mix sleep with work to ensure things get done.

*Some of the events and details listed above may not be entirely accurate. Use your judgement.