Coolest 10K in the World

If you are into running or have ever thought of running a 10K but wanted it to be really special for your first time, then I have the perfect run for you...The Nike+ Human Race.

This is going to be the most amazing event. The event is happening all around the world but only in 25 cities and the only Canadian city to hold one is Vancouver. There are going to be thousands of people all running this event and the excitement and adrenaline that will be flowing through the crowd at this event will be phenomenal.

This run is definately different than other runs. Here is why:

• Everyone will be wearing the same colour run shirt
• It will start at around 6:30pm
• There is a free concert afterward for all participants (and we are talking a BIG name band. Kanye West is performing in LA for this. Vancouver has not yet announced their headliner)
• You will be part of an event happening around the world at the same time (minus time zones obviously

If you need to get inspired, check out the promo video right here. Every time I watch it I get inspired to be a part of it.

Hope to see you there!

The Ol' Heave Ho

Like the old saying goes. When the going gets tough the tough get going. Well, I found out last night that when the going gets tough the tough should give it the ol' heave ho.

No, I don't mean give up on life...I'm talking about breathing techniques for labour.

Last night Shiela and I went to our second pre-natal class to learn all about what to expect and we learned a few breathing techniques. The last one they taught us was the hee-ho. Supposedly this is a technique used in England or somewhere and it is suppose to work really well. Instead of just blowing out air like blowing out candles, you instead breathe out in a hee - ho method. When it gets intense you can increase it to hee-hee-ho or if it get's really bad you can use hee-hee-hee ho. Ok, now that you are all hyperventilating trying to figure out how this breathing works lets move on.

These pre-natal classes are actually pretty good. I'm sure the teacher thinks I hate it because I'm yawning a lot but that's just because I'm tired. The info they give you is pretty useful and I will definately be more prepared going into the delivery room. As I mentioned to Shiela last night, I don't think I fully understood before just how long and hard this whole delivery process is (go ahead, make fun of all men and how we don't understand the pain, etc. etc.) I mean, I've heard women say they were in labour for 16 hours, blah, blah, blah and I just figured they were in the hospital waiting for the baby to be born. I knew the birthing part was painful but apparently there is a lot more going on then just when the baby gets pushed out.

So now that all the women reading this are typing up hate mail to me and yelling to their husbands that they are never again going to hang out with Sheldon and Shiela because Sheldon's so insensitive, I'll help you husbands out by giving you my

Top 5 Questions Not to Ask At Pre-Natal Classes (learned from experience):

5) What type of pain medication is there for the husband?

4) Is it ok to pre-record me saying encouraging words on a tape recorder so I can just play the tape for her when I'm off watching TV in the visitors lounge?

3) How long do I rub her back before we switch positions and she massages my shoulders?

2) Is it ok to reassure my wife by saying "That wasn't so bad now was it?" after each contraction?

1) What should I tell my wife when I feel that she is over exagerrating on the pain?

Needless to say all the women in our pre-natal class love their husbands that much more after having me in their class.

What Is To Come

As mentioned in my last post, I was so busy with the Hbc Run for Canada I just didn't have time to post. I was working all the time and my body was exhausted. But now with the main event behind me and only the wrap up to do I can settle back into a regular routine.

Thank you to the hundreds of people that have been checking back on this blog daily and even twice a day for some just waiting in anticipation for a new post from me. Well, you won't be disappointed much longer. Stay tuned for some great posts coming up like:

• How I nearly killed myself driving my rental pick up (literally)
• My connection with Kelsie Hendry who is Beijing bound in pole vault
• Why I'm mad at the new Degrassi show
• The top 10 things not to ask during pre-natal classes
• Baby Update - only two months to go!

Stay tuned!

Too Busy To Post

It's a lame excuse but I've just been too busy and too tired to post recently. My big event, the Hbc Run for Canada, is coming up on July 1 and things are going crazy right now as I'm trying to finalize things in all of our 15 cities across Canada with 31 people sending me information on a continual basis. I'm working all the time...the only real breaks I get are when I go play slowpitch or soccer at night. Then I come back home and work again until midnight or 1:00am. It's a great event but as with any event you put on, I can't wait til it's over!

Feel free to bring the family down to our event on July 1. There's a 10K run, a 3K walk and 1K kids run. The best part is they all happen at different times so someone can run the 10K and then come back to watch their kid run the 1K. The 1K is very cute to watch and very popular with families. Good kids entertainment and a band will play too for the adults.

Go here to check out more.

Sheldon

Daniel Negreanu is a Stand Up Guy

Have you heard of this guy before? If you are at all into poker you will have. For me, he's by far my favourite poker player. I think the main reason I like this guy so much is that we have so much in common. I seriously wish he lived here in Saskatoon so that the two of us could hang out. Now that is probably starting to sound like a stalker, and you are probably right. But check out the number of things we have in common:

1) We are approximately the same age (I think he's a year or two older)

2) He's Canadian (he lives in Vegas now but is actually from Toronto)

3) He likes poker...I like poker

4) He golfs in the high 90's to low 100's and is always trying to improve...I'm the same way

5) He loves to joke around and tell stories that aren't true...this blog pretty much shows I'm the same way

6) He wins at poker...I would like to win at poker!

7) He's a born again Christian and so am I

There are just a lot of things I like about Daniel that I think would make him a great friend and person to hang out with. Although he and I have a lot in common, the number one reason I think he is such a great guy and the reason I'm even writing this post is to say...he cares about his fans.

Check out this video blog he did today:

http://www.rawvegas.tv/rawreality/negreanu/

In the video you can tell that some fans are waiting for him to give an autograph or something. He doesn't ignore them at all but actually talks to them in the middle of his video to let them know he's not ignoring them. Then, at the end when he realizes he is out of time, he tells them to come to his table during the tournament (which is part of the World Series of Poker) so he can get them autographs or pictures. That's like Sidney Crosby telling a fan to come down to the bench during a playoff hockey game to get an autograph and picture while the game is going on. No other poker player I know treats fans so well.

Last year Daniel ended up being in the same box seats as co-workers of mine at the Grey Cup. I was extremely jealous as I've never met Daniel. So if anyone is looking to get me a 30's birthday present, or a Father's Day gift, or just a "Sheldon you're a swell guy so here's a cool present" if you could arrange for me to meet Daniel, play a round of golf with him and also a game of poker I would be forever indebted to you.

The Run Aftermath

I survived. You would think that would be automatically assumed, but I honestly wasn't so sure. I had never felt so unprepared both physically and mentally for an event than I did that morning.

It was cloudy and a little rainy as we walked into the mass of people preparing for the race on that Sunday morning. Shiela and I walked up and down looking for people we know and specifically my parents as my mom was running the half marathon (and she did it in a great time!), but we couldn't find them. I did a quick little warm up run for about 50 metres, pretended to stretch a little and then it was time to go. I stripped down to shirts and a long sleeve shirt under my Hbc Run for Canada shirt. Although I knew I couldn't finish the run this year in less than an hour I still wanted to try, so I found the 60 minute pace bunny who is the guy who is guaranteed to finish at the 60 minute mark. So if you want to finish in that time all you need to do is stick with him and you will too.

The gun went off and we all took about 2 steps forward and then stopped as we realized that 2300 people couldn't all go across the start line at the same time. About 1.5 minutes later I crossed the start line and off we went. About 200 metres into the race I realized I just wasn't prepared for this thing, but there was no turning back now.

I wasn't running with anyone in particular this year and was on my own. I had my headphones in my ears, but I never actually turned on the music. I was enjoying the sounds of the run and eavesdropping on all the people talking around me who thought I couldn't hear. The run was going really well for me until I hit the 3KM mark. It was here that thoughts of walking started to enter my mind. I was feeling tired and wanted to walk so badly, but no one else around me was walking so I decided to push on.

At about the 5.5KM mark I turned to go north on Victoria and a few fans were on the corner cheering me on including Shiela. That's always encouraging and I flashed them a smile as I went by although inside I was feeling tired (see video below)

The run north on Victoria to the river is amazing as it is slightly downhill. I started to feel pretty good at this point and was actually enjoying the run. I turned down the steep road past the bridge and realized I only had 3 km left to go. I glanced at my watch and thought maybe I could finish in 60 minutes, but since the pace bunny was so far ahead of me I couldn't see him I figured that probably wouldn't happen. I was running good and then came to Saskatoon's heartbreak hill...the hill up Saskatchewan Cres. by Rawlco Radio. Last year I died going up this hill, but this year I was mentally ready. I charged up it and refused to think too much about it. As I plodded along I suddenly had some encouragement from the sidewalk. I glanced over and my dad was on his bike pedalling beside me giving encouragement. That was great as he was the one who also helped me up the hill the previous year when I was exhausted. I made it to the top and with only 1KM left to go my dad pedalled ahead to the finish to see me cross.

That last KM felt like a lifetime. I'm sure they made a mistake and it was actually 3KM or more because the finish line looked so far away. But then the guy running beside me said that we could bring each other in...so the two of us ran together that last stretch and kept each other going right to the end. And as I crossed the finish line I glanced at my watch and realized I had actually beaten my time from last year...I finished in 1:01:32.

I gave a high five to the guy I finished with and then we parted ways to never see each other again. I saw Shiela and gave her a hug. I was surprisingly feeling pretty good and a lot better than last year. My legs were starting to stiffen up already but overall I was very happy with my time and can't wait to run again to finally reach my goal of finishing in less than 1 hour.

Over the last two days my legs have been so stiff I could harldy walk. I played soccer Sunday night yet and by the end of the game my legs hurt so much and I think I pulled a muscle in my left leg. On Monday I could barely walk at all and had to walk very slowly when I did. But now, Tuesday morning I'm feeling a bit better and my legs are getting back to normal. Hopefully they are ready for soccer tonight!

Time to Run

It's 5:41am and I'm getting ready for my 10K run that starts at 7:00am. It's raining outside. I haven't trained consistently...ok not much at all really. 10K is 10,000 metres. Luckily there are going to be about 700 other people running the 10K along with 1400 other people runinng other events who can help me if I collapse from sheer exhaustion. I'll let you know how it goes!

Off The Roids

It's official. I am no longer taking steroids. Actually, I'm not even sure if I've been taking steroids really. I know I used to be but the latest drugs may not have actually been steroids. But whatever the case, I am off drugs completely. Yep, my dealer told me we could try to go off the drugs for a while and see what happens. No rehab. No hospitals. No pretending to be Lindsay Lohan and say I'm going off but secretly I'm still using. Nope, I'm stopping cold turkey.

So far I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not sure exactly how I should feel. The doctor always asked me if I was feeling any side effects to life on roids. I kept saying not really because I didn't really feel any. Except for the roid rage of course. The walls of our house look like swiss cheese from the rages I went on! (just kidding). I'm not really all that aware of what is going on in my body so it is hard for me to really notice if there are side effects. If something unusual happens I usually just assume that it must be somewhat normal. If my wife was in this situation she would know right away and be able to tell the doctor exactly what was different when she was taking drugs. But not me. I just go through life taking it all in stride...that's how I roll.

The ironic part of the latest drugs I was taking (but now am not) is that it was an immune suppresent. Apparently that means I should be very careful not to be around sick people, etc. because I am easily prone to being sick. The funny part is that I don't think I've been sick at all. I actually felt that maybe I was able to fight off being sick easier than before. Granted I no longer have an appendix or spleen to help me out, but even without those organs I've been doing great. So if I start to get sick soon I think I'm going back on the drugs because secretly those pills are like a fountain of youth for me!

But seriously, it is good to be off the drugs now and my dealer said we will monitor my situation to see how it is going. I hope it goes well because a drug free life would be great!

P.S. For those new to this blog the "drugs" are prescription medicine and I'm not really a drug user. Read previous entries from other years to understand.

Three Stacks of High Society

This past Monday I had a chance to hang out with the high rollers, the big wigs, the movers and shakers...the high class if you will. Yes, they are the people who own BMW's. Now I'm a dreamer and I love to dream big, but I have never dreamed of owning a BMW. That was a dream that was just a little too far out for me. And after hanging out at this private, invitation only event for BMW owners and potential owners I have realized that that dream is still far beyond my reach.

The company I work for has been working with BMW Canada to put on events at local dealerships across the country to promote their three stacks of high society as I will call them...although you will need a lot more than that if you want to drive one of these off the lot! In Saskatchewan the only one held was in Regina so I trekked down there to get it all set up and ensure the entire event was a success. It was great to be a part of it and it was an amazing event as we held it on the stage at the Conexus Arts Centre. There were a lot of people there and they even had a draw for a prize to drive a BMW for 6 months with license and registration paid...all you have to do is pay for the gas! An amazing prize that's for sure. That combined with the amazing amount of food made for a great event.

Here are some photos of the event and also a little video clip of what the set up looks like...the lighting was a blue ambiance with a touch of white so it was bad lighting for pictures, but hopefully you get the drift. The pictures are mostly of cars as I tried to avoid posting pictures of people if I don't know them...obviously I made a few exceptions.

Team Photo

Just came back from Halifax where our company put on the Canadian Sponsorship Forum. It was a great event and a lot of fun! I'll blog more about it later, but for now here's a team photo of the people I work with. Can you find me?

The Suicide Attempt

Work lately has been quite stressful for me and I often wonder how much more I can take. That combined with the recent snowfall when it is suppose to be spring and the fact that we went out to eat and they only served Pepsi made me realize that life is hard. So I decided it was time for drastic measures and maybe life just wasn't worth the trouble.

So Saturday morning I went downstairs for the final time, put on my sunglasses, shoes, IPOD and Coca-Cola toque and got into my car for what I thought may be the final time. I ended up a the Broadway Roastery, parked my car and went to sit on the bench outside to contemplate what I was about to do. It wasn't long before some people came along that I knew. They stood around me talking like they didn't know the severity of the situation. They were laughing and joking while I sat there trying to stay mentally focused for the task at hand. Then the time had come, I stood up, turned on my IPOD for the final time and....off we went for what would be the longest (and possibly last) run of my entire life.


I am planning on running the 10K this year at the Saskatchewan Marathon on May 25. I have been running a little bit here and there but due to the cold weather I took the entire week off. That apparently was a mistake because some people at church have a running group and invited me to join them this last Saturday. I took them up on the offer and then asked what I thought was a simple question, not realizing how it may ultimately effect my life, "How far are we running?". "Oh, just the Broadway bridge to Circle Drive bridge loop," came the casual retort. They may have well have been planning to run across Canada because either way I realized this may be the final run of life.


As the suicide attempt began that Saturday morning things were going well. I usually run a pace of 6min/km...no gazelle that's for sure but no sloth either (at least not a sleeping one). The four of us were running along and things were fine. I couldn't talk while I ran because I needed every ounce of breath possible just to stop my lungs from seizing up. It wasn't long before we hit the University bridge. 1 bridge down 2 to go. Then as continued we hit the train bridge. 2 bridges down 1 to go. Then I looked into the distance and luckily I had my binoculars with me because otherwise there was no way I could have seen the other bridge it appeared that far away. As I kept trudging along I noticed how the other three people in the group were slowly pulling away from me as either my pace was slowing down or they were just getting into their regular running rhythm.


After what seemed like an eternity my foot hit solid ground on the Circle Drive bridge and we all stopped to walk across. Then someone asked me, "Sheldon, do you need a stretch break?" Hmmm...a stretch break. My entire body already felt like it was going to break and the last thing I needed was to help it out by trying to pull my limbs apart on purpose! "I just need an ambulance," came my reply. That got a few chuckles and apparently they thought I was joking. But before I could insist we had walked across the bridge and they were off running again.


At this point right now I had run further than any other training runs I had done in the past. The only time I had ever run further in my entire life was the previous year at the 10K run at the Saskatchewan Marathon where I nearly collapsed at the end I was so tired. The worst part was, we were in the middle of no where. Circle Drive bridge is on the far north end of town and the only way back to civilization is to run back the way you came. So although my body was screaming at me to call a taxi, the only option was to keep going.


The last 46 minutes is all a blur. The other three members of our team had run ahead as I had told them not to worry about me and that I knew where we were going. They were kind enough to offer that they would occassionally look back to ensure I was still moving. As I plodded along my pace was getting slower and slower. My legs felt like they were seizing up. My lungs were complaining that there wasn't enough oxygen. Everything in my body pleaded for me to not end my life by completing this run. But I plunged on.


Finally the Broadway bridge was there and I was on the last leg of the journey. I rounded up onto the bridge and suddenly realized that with absolutely no energy left I had to run this entire bridge and it was all uphill! I pushed on with the speed of a turtle and just when I thought I had nothing left I saw the rest of the group lying on the grass at the finish area. I jogged up to them and asked if anyone wanted to go for another lap...luckily they had to get going. As I lay there filling my lungs with oxygen, massaging my sore legs, and being thankful that I hadn't actually died during that 10K run, I nearly had a heart attack when I heard someone say "So we'll see you here next week?"

Phantom of the Opera Tickets

A couple weeks ago they had a really great sale on Phantom of the Opera tickets for Saskatoon. The third balcony seats were selling for only $40 (plus service charge). Shiela and I don't go to many shows at all, but we figured that was a pretty good deal and snapped up the tickets as the sale was only on for about 3 days. We picked Thursday May 1 as the day to attend as we figured nothing would be up that day. We were pumped to be able to attend the show.

Then yesterday I got a call from work. Now I have been working from home for over 2 years and very, very rarely does anything actually happen in Saskatoon. And since 2006 I don't think anything has at all that I was really involved with. So you would think that buying tickets to a show is pretty safe. It turns out one of our clients is having an event that very same day and I have been asked to work at it...and it will run the entire day and evening.

Therefore, I now must sell our tickets. We received a great deal on them and I'm going to sell them for the same amount we paid for them. The total cost for two tickets is $106.50 (see below for cost breakdown). The tickets are in Row A (first row) of the 3rd balcony. Leave a comment if you would like to buy them or just contact me if you know how to get a hold of me.

P.S These same tickets to buy on Ticketmaster now are $70 each (Total cost $166.50) so I'm offering a $60 discount!

Ticket cost breakdown: ($40X2 = $80 (Ticket Cost) + $9.75 X2=$19.50 ( Service Charge) + 1.50X2=$3.00 (Facility Charge) + $4.00 Processing Fee) = $106.50 (Total)

Not Entering the Dragon's Den

One of my favourite shows on CBC right now is Dragon's Den. For those who haven't seen it, it is a show where entrepreneurs enter into the Dragon's Den (a basement in some studio in Toronto) and pitch their business ideas to 5 wealthy dragons (aka business people with lots of cash). It's a great show and fun to watch all the neat ideas people have and how the dragons tear them to shreds!

I am a dreamer and always have a lot of business ideas on my mind. I want to own my own business someday and it's just a matter of the right idea (which by the way I currently have a new one that I'm excited about). I've always thought it would be neat to be on that show and present one of my ideas to them. They might hash it to bits, but it would be cool to just be there and experience it.

Well, this past Friday I found out that Dragon's Den auditions were actually here in Saskatoon! Usually I have my ear to the ground with that type of thing, but the tremors didn't come to me and I didn't see this coming. Apparently not a lot of other people heard about it either. There were only three entries in all of Saskatoon. They all presented and then the producers decide who gets to actually come onto the show.

Oh well, missed them this time around. I need to get my business proposal done and be ready for next time when they come here. Then I'll be ready to fight fire with fire...(get it, they're dragons so they breathe fire..ah, forget it)

Unstoppable

I have seen the light...or actually the green. Yes, the green of the greens. Ok, it's actually still pretty brown but who cares because the golf season is now upon us! I am so excited and can't wait to get out on the course!

This year I am pretty much going to be unstoppable on the golf course. I've got all my ducks in a row and am ready for the season. Shiela bought me a new golf glove for my birthday (my old one had so many holes in it I don't even know why I wore it). She also bought me golf rain gloves so I can golf in the rain and they are designed to help me keep gripping the club. We are pretty hard core sometimes and have often been out on the course as the rain starts to fall. I also have two golf lessons lined up as a Christmas present from my sister and brother-in-law and so I will be ITZ.

The best part of this season is the new purchase I made just the other day...golf shoes. I have always just worn my runners when golfing but due to some birthday money I received this year I decided that it was time to get some golf shoes to help improve the game. They are going to be awesome for one main reason...they are waterproof. Since I'm not independently wealthy we usually hunt down the golf deals in town and golf at those times. This usually means early in the morning when often the course still has some sprinklers on or there is dew on the ground. In the past my shoes have always been soaked by the time I'm done...but not anymore. That combined with the cleats on the bottom will at least cut off 4-5 strokes per game.

So Ben and Colin, take one last long look at the golf trophy, because I'm going to be winning the trophy right at the start of the season and you won't be seeing it again. Now, if I could just get my driver to work...

Hospital Visit

Well it looks like I was once again in the hospital. Apparently I just can't get over this sickness I've been having. With so many bugs going around it is pretty hard to avoid getting sick. I got so sick I was basically like a ghost in the hospital.

Actually, I was a ghost in the hospital. Friday morning I found out that I had ended up in the hospital on Thursday and nobody came to see me. There were phone calls though as people phoned each other to talk about my hospital visit. My parents found out I was in the hospital. My brother-in-law checked to see if I was on the hospital list as he left work that night. My sister phoned my parents to talk about my hospital visit. Then Friday morning my parents told my little sister I had been in the hospital. She asked if anyone had phoned to talk to me. No one had. So she phoned me up at home to let me know I had been in the hospital.

And that was news to me because I had not been to the hospital. I had never even been sick (which is amazing because Shiela has had a cold for quite a while). Actually I was at work all day Thursday and then played soccer Thursday night. I found out that someone had heard someone was in the hospital and they thought they heard my name. So the word started spreading that I was in the hospital again. Funny how rumours can do that so quickly.

So just to set everyone at ease. I am back at home...I mean I never left home...except for soccer...so no worries. I guess I should stay in touch with my family more often!

I'm 30 But I've Still Got It!

The title is actually a little deceiving. It would indicate that I actually had something previously in order for me to still have it. I don't know if I ever really had "it". No, I'm not referring to a Coke because believe you me, I wouldn't still have it because it would be long drank already. I'm talking about scoring goals.

Back in highschool soccer days in my grade 11 year I hit the high point of my goal scoring career. I believe I had 10 goals that season (I actually forget the exact number but as I get older I think that number will also keep inflating). I remember being extremely happy with all the goals I scored that year and that was also the first time in 14 years that our school beat Notre Dame to go to Provincials. Best soccer season ever! I've never scored that many goals in one season since.

This season I decided I wanted to get away from playing defense and start to play forward for indoor soccer. I had never played forward before but I figured it was time to start scoring goals again. But there is nothing more frustrating than having someone on the team playing forward who can't score goals. So I told another guy that if I wasn't scoring at least 1 goal every 3 games I should be kicked off the forward line. That goal really isn't all that high, but for someone who had scored maybe 2 goals total in the last four seasons it was pretty lofty.

Well, tonight in my first game ever as a 30 year old I managed to hit the back of the net twice to put my total goals for the season at 8. I played in a total of 18 games giving me an average of one goal every 2.25 games...my goal was reached!

With the outdoor season approaching in early May I realize I only have about 1 month to get into shape. Currently, I am not where I want to be. Outdoor soccer is a lot of running and I need to lose one, two or twenty pounds or so if I want to be competitive out there. Right now I'm looking in the mirror and I see a trim, lean and muscular man staring back at me...oh wait, that's the Men's Fitness magazine. In the mirror I look like...oh never mind, I don't want to give anyone nightmares. I've already been researching a soccer fitness training program and am looking forward to a much leaner, trimmer and more muscular physique come May. So stay tuned to this very blog to see how the training goes.

March 22 - The Greatest Day Ever

I do enjoy a good birthday. This one is a big one for me...the big 30. I had always planned on making my first million by the time I was 30, but unfortunately it looks like I came up a few hundred dollars short. Guess you can't win them all.

The party already started yesterday with a lunch to Grainfields with my in-laws and then an outing to East Side Mario's and then back to our place for ice cream cake and a poker tournament. You'd think they would let the birthday boy win, but no and I just got second.

I actually have no real plans for on my birthday day. I'm just going to kick around and do what I want. Maybe go to Golftown...maybe watch some NCAA ball...maybe try to get that last couple hundred dollars to reach my million mark...who knows. What I do know is now I am old, I can see over the hill and I'm about to start cruising down the other side. The adventure is only beginning!

Is Swimming Worth It?

I'm a big fan of sports. I love getting out onto the soccer pitch and kicking the ball, scoring goals and getting sweaty. I love basketball with the low hanging shorts and trash talking my opponent even if 9 times out of 10 he's better than me. But when it comes to swimming, I just don't get it.

The problem with swimming starts long before you actually get into the pool. For most sports you are part of a team and you sit around the locker room or field, strap on the equipment and protection and then after a group chant and a manly group hug you run onto the field/court. Swimming is just the opposite. Good chance if you are a swimmer you are an individual (yeah, I know they call them 'swim teams', but seriously, you are on your own). Then, instead of strapping on a uniform and protection, you strip down to the least amount of clothing possible without getting arrested for public nudity and once you have shaved your legs and probably head, you venture out in front of the large crowd of people more exposed than an underwear model. If they rated swim meets like they do movies it would have to be at least PG-13 due the uniform alone.

The second problem is that swimming is the only sport I know of where, aside from injury, just participating in the sport could kill you. You can venture out and play soccer, basketball or any other sport and even if you are really bad you won't die. With swimming, if you don't perform the technique correctly you will sink and drown. You never really hear of people getting together for a pick up game of swimming. That's because most people don't invite their friends out to enjoy a possible death activity. Yeah, I know you can just stay in the shallow end, but seriously how much fun is that? It's like playing slowpitch with someone and you just stick them way out in right field because you know the ball is never going to go there.

If you do manage to get through the humiliation of wearing nothing short of bikini briefs in front of all your friends and family and actually manage to survive while doing the 100 metre breast stroke, the worst part of swimming is still to come...changing. This is absolutely the worst part of swimming. You walk into the change room dripping wet and head to your locker. Hopefully you have a combination lock because if you have a key for the lock I have no idea where you put that on your uniform! Then you pull out your towel and head to the shower.

The showering itself is a whole new thing. Many people treat these public showers like they are at home and just strip right down to nothing when they jump in (not that there is really much left to the imagination anyway). I want to be sure I fit in so I usually just follow suit. The problem is I don't think I know the rules for showering in these facilities. I mean, I know the main ones like if you drop the soap, just let it go man. But what are the other rules? First, what do you call this type of shower facility with many showers together in one open room? Group showers? Gang showers? No matter what you call it, when you try to describe for someone the type of shower it is they are going to start laughing and think you are a pervert. Second, are you suppose to face the wall or the middle of the room? I get tired staring at the wall while showering but turning around seems to be a little too wrong for me too. Third, which shower do you take? If there are a couple other people in there already how do you know which shower to go to? Do you take one right next to another guy or does there have to be at least one shower space between? And finally, are you allowed to talk to the other guys taking showers...and if you do talk to them do you actually look at them or just talk over your shoulder as you stare at the wall?

Once you survive the shower you now have to try to dry off and get dressed. This itself makes no logical sense. There is an inch of water all over the entire change room floor and somehow you are suppose to get out the front door without getting wet. Mission: Impossible. Getting dried off is not too hard and then the towel is wrapped around the waist. Although everyone was just showering together with nothing on, the rules seem to be that now for some reason you have to ensure that no one sees you naked. So with the towel around your waist you have to slip on your underwear without over exposing yourself. The shirt is easy and goes on no problem. Then it gets more difficult. Pulling on your pants is tough as they always seem to hit the floor at some point and are now wet. Then you have to put on your socks. Once the socks are on you have to hold them up in the air while you carefully put each foot into a shoe so you don't get your socks soaked. I don't think I've ever managed to do all those things without getting wet.

Now you have your final problem. Unlike most sports where you can just throw your uniform and equipment into the gym bag until next time, with swimming you must carry all this wet clothing home, hang it up in the bathroom to dry and then eventually pack it back up for another time. It just takes so...much...time. Finally, the ordeal is over and you can relax. As much "fun" as swimming is, it really isn't worth dying for.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Competitor's Anonymous

"Hello, my name is Sheldon and I am a competitor."

"Hi Sheldon," the crowd replies with strained enthusiasm like they'd said it a thousand times to a thousand other people.

"I've been a competitor for as long as I can remember," I continue. " If there was ever a chance that someone could actually finish first in something, I was up for a little competition and was ready to claim that spot. It didn't matter what it was...getting the highest mark in school, winning a board game, or winning at any type of sporting event. I was always up for a competition."

"I remember back in my first year at Bethany College and I was playing basketball for the Bethany team and we ended up losing our first game. I went down to the lounge after to chat about the game and mentioned to someone that I couldn't believe we lost and how we needed to work harder to win next time. The person turned to me and said 'You play for Bethany...get used to it.' I got up and walked away because I couldn't believe there were people in the world that thought that way and were willing to go into a game expecting to lose. I always entered every single game with the thought that we could win if we played our best and I always emphasized that when I coached as well."

"When I play sports right now it is very hard for me to 'turn off' my competitive nature. When I'm playing men's soccer it is not a problem as everyone is out there to win and I blend right in for the most part, although sometimes I have done things I'm not proud of. The problem comes when I play slowpitch in the church league or play co-ed soccer. I try to focus on just having fun and playing carefree, but it is extremely hard for me and quite often I get caught up in the game and can get quite intense. I don't mean to, it's just that I have such a strong competitive nature that it's hard for me to sit back and just let things be."

"I feel it is important to be a competitor and I don't see anything wrong with that. The problem comes when my competitiveness ruins my witness for Jesus. As cliche as it sounds, I need to ask myself 'What would Jesus do?' when I'm in the midst of the competition. He wouldn't be yelling at the ref after a bad call, or getting mad at the other team when they injure me or another teammate. I want to be a competitor, but at the same time know how to be a good competitor, and also know when it is time to turn it off."

"So I'm continuing to work on this thing people call "recreation" where you just do things for fun and don't worry about strategy or doing certain things so that you will win. But instead, going out there and just playing with the gifts God has given me, not getting upset at referees or umpires, and just having a fun time playing with friends for enjoyment."

"Thanks for this group's support as I work on this aspect of my life."