May 25th...5:00am. I roll out of bed for my final time with my spleen. I decide to have a shower but I don't know why since they are going to be covering my body with weird soaps and cutting holes into me right away. But I do anyway since I figure I'd hate for the surgeon to suddenly jerk the knife back when he suddenly gets a whiff of my un-showered self. I wander into the kitchen afterward and look around. I'm not allowed to eat OR DRINK anything until after my surgery so I resign myself to the fact that I'll have to starve. Luckily I had gorged myself on Vern's Pizza and Coke the night before after my soccer game so I really wasn't that hungry.
I had packed a whole whack load of stuff into my overnight bag...books, cd's, discman (yeah, I'm not cool enough to have an IPOD yet) shirts, pants, games, etc. You'd think I was going on a youth retreat or something! I was going on a retreat but the only thing retreating would be my spleen!
As we parked the car and walked towards the resort I felt a huge weight on my shoulders. So I took off my overnight bag and Shiela carried it for me. Whew, that was better! We zipped right through registration and before I knew it I was in a guest room. Ah...I was finally in my room at this resort called City Hospital. As I sat on the bed I suddenly heard a noise, looked up and saw one of the of the resort attendants come into my area. Then came an odd demand for a resort, "Ok Mr. Mathies, we're going to have to ask you to strip down and put on one of our lovely resort gowns. You can't stay here without a gown on." I thought it was a little odd to have to be naked under their resort gowns, but oh well, it was a free resort and if that was one of the rules I could live with that. That was until I put on the gown and realized that it was quite drafty in the back...not a lot of material there. I'd have to walk carefully I figured. Then came the time to put on the resort socks. Apparently not all guests had to put these on, but because I was named Sheldon Mathies and lived in Saskatoon I had to. Made no sense to me but oh well.
As the nurse helped me put on these oversized socks that went up all the way to my knees, I suddenly realized that the gown didn't have any legs to them. It was early in the morning and so my brain was functioning slowly but it went something like this. I'm naked under this gown, I'm sitting on the bed with my legs on the bed trying to put on oversized socks. This means my knees must bend so I can reach the end of my feet to put them on. Oh look, what a nice view out the window. The nurse is helping me put on my socks and she is at the end of the bed. I'm not married to the nurse. There are no legs to this gown. I'm naked underneath. So if she's at the end of the bed looking at me trying to help me put on my socks and my knees are bent then that means...BAM! I dropped my knees down the bed so they were flat. Sorry lady, nobody gets to view that except my wife. It was at this point I realized that certain things may be exposed during my time at this resort and there was very little I could do about it. After that I did my best to stay covered, but mistakes seemed to happen a lot at this resort.
The clock slowly ticked away and then suddenly I was allowed to leave my room. Maybe allowed isn't the right word. It was actually a forced parade. At this resort on our floor around 7:45am every morning they gather up all the guests and line them up in the hallway. And yes, I was one of them. The nice resort attendants were lining everyone up. There was the older guy in the wheelchair, a lady with a shaved head, an older lady with white hair, a younger man with the bad knee in the wheelchair, and a few others including me. I looked pretty normal. I was dressed like everyone else but all I had was an IV pole I carted down the hallway. It was a great parade and we were all allowed to bring along a guest to walk with us. I took Shiela.
Now originally I thought they were lining us all up in the hallway for a race. And since everyone had a guest with them I figured it must be a 3-legged race. So when the resort attendant said "Let's go" I grabbed my IV cord, wrapped it around Shiela's right foot and my left foot and off we went running. A quick "WHOA!!" and three or four resort attendants stopped us and informed us it was a parade, not a race. I was disappointed but I unwrapped the cord from our legs and fell back into line. Apparently those in wheelchairs got to be at the head of the parade.
As we walked down the hallway we went by a few resort attendant stations and it was great. I waved to everyone as we went by and wished that I had brought some candy to throw to them. It was great to hear them cheering for us as we marched down the hallway up to the great door. The great door that led into the holding corrals.
As we marched through the great door I saw many separate stalls. As they led me by my IV to my stall I felt more like a horse at an auction then at a resort. All the members of the parade and their guest were given a separate stall to sit in. We could still all see everyone as no one closed the curtains. It was at this point that the draft must have begun. They told us prior that we all had a certain surgeon and anesthesiologist assigned to us, but I'm not so sure. I think they could all see us in our stalls and they start drafting us based on who they want to take care of. Because as we sat there people would come in and out of the even greater door and they would look at each of us as they walked by and then leave again. I smiled big and tried to flex to show them how strong and healthy I was, but it was to no avail. One by one the anesthesiologist and surgeons would come out and go talk to certain people. First it was wheelchair man, then Hip man, then the shaved head lady. I obviously didn't go very high in the draft because I was the last one picked. Finally, they came out and talked to me and told me all the wonderful things that would happen to me in this special area of the resort. They said I'd have lots of guaranteed rest and I'd wake up a new man. Then they were gone. They had tried to make me feel like I was the #1 draft pick, but I knew better. Oh well, I still got a room in this special area and I was excited. "Guaranteed rest?" I thought, "What do they mean by that?"
I kissed and hugged my wife and then they led me away. I glanced back once to see Shiela smile at me and then the even greater doors magically opened. I stood and stared at this new area...this was going to be an adventure and I really hope I make it back. As I walked forward I glanced back at Shiela who gave me a small wave. Then the magic doors closed and Shiela and I were separated...I could only hope it wouldn't be for good.
Stay Tuned for Part 2 of 4 - The Special Room
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